I've made a decision. I'm going to be a mute. I'm not going to say a word unless required by my teachers or by my mother. I will only be able to talk through paper or text. (Hence my blog will continue in detailed descriptions of 'My Days of Silence'.)
Another rule I have restricted myself with is that I can't be the first to write/text something first. It would break my code of silence by 'talking'. In my opinion it is only 'talking' when you're first to start a conversation. So I'll be the mute by just replying to whatever is said to me...
Lets see how long I can stand this. I have a feeling my sanity will fly out the window... Yay!
Saturday, February 27, 2010
I'm a nuisance.
Has anyone else just felt ignored? Like NOBODY wants you around? I feel I've been feeling like that for a while, but I always have somebody to talk to. Most of my friends will text or call me back when I try to reach them. But I'm always the one to start the conversation. It makes me feel as if I'm being annoying. I'm being a nuisance. That's not the kind of friend I want to be.
I guess I just may be wearing my heart on my sleeve, but it bothers me. I guess... Any thoughts?
I guess I just may be wearing my heart on my sleeve, but it bothers me. I guess... Any thoughts?
Friday, February 26, 2010
Is it really your world?
The other day I was talking to Dusty, through texting of course, and he randomly sent me a picture of him and his mother. Take a look, see?
He was telling me his mother did this all the time. Even I have been known for 'staring off into space' or 'creating my own world'. (Which is Shelly Land. You should check it out!)But is it REALLY your world? Do you own it? It may be in your head, but who else is there? Does somebody think they own said world when you claim to own it as well? Maybe there is somebody else in the universe (I'm not limiting our population by just people on Earth, nobody really knows what else is out there.) Do you ever see anybody else in your world? Somebody you knew? Friend? Neighbor? Or maybe even some Canadian kid that talks Portuguese? Maybe they believe they invented your world. You know, doctors, scientists, even philosophers, believe that we are all unique.
Are we really? Maybe we have a twin somewhere... Maybe that's why they share our thoughts and our worlds. They may possibly not look exactly like us, but their minds are the same.
Serial killers all think alike. All they want somebody to die. Comedians are all the same. They all want people to laugh. Are they all thinking along the same lines?
I keep seeing these things 'And remember kids, you're different, just like everybody else.' This statement obviously suggests that we are NOT all different, but it makes me think that perhaps we are all the same.
People share features, thoughts, and feelings. They are just random. Like I'm sorta kinda screwed up. I like to think that I'm different, but I find comfort in being the same. I fear all I love. I laugh at inappropriate times (who doesn't?), and I keep a straight face when laughter is needed without making something socially awkward.
Though, look at somebody you know, what characters (physical and emotional) do you share? How different are you REALLY from them? Then look at other people you wouldn't dream to talk to and somebody else who is quite similar. How different are they?Its quite a interesting thing to think about. I know we are all different, but I can only say there are so many combinations of the emotions and features (unless you're some kind of mutant) that can exist.
I leave with just the thought, 'Is it really your world?'
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
THE ROAD OF JACOB!!
Okay, I'm aware I've already posted once today, but the Road of Jacob was just SCREAMING to me.
You see, Jacob is a friend of mine who is the alto section leader. He is like REALLY smart. No joke. haha (I suppose I may be the only one that got that?) :p
But long ago, on his facebook page, he was asking if it was really a shame to be single until he was through highschool and possibly college.
I was sitting there thinking, 'No. That isn't a bad idea at all.'
In fact, I loved the idea. Then the next day, me and my friend, Katie, sat down and worked out a plan.
We decided since guys make better friends than anything and we both wanted to keep our grades up, we agreed that we would avoid relationships. It would make the future boyfriend possibly more special knowing that I waited and didn't give anything up. (Not even my first kiss.)
Though Katie had already had hers, she was still down with the idea. Ever since we haven't said a WORD to Jake about this plan.. Though I don't really know if he is following his own road anymore and is looking for somebody. But still, the road is named after him.
Soo... Just thought I throw that out there before my mental picture of Jake on his road chasing me with his blue truck ran me over...
HAHA!! Again, have a nice day!! :D
-Shu
You see, Jacob is a friend of mine who is the alto section leader. He is like REALLY smart. No joke. haha (I suppose I may be the only one that got that?) :p
But long ago, on his facebook page, he was asking if it was really a shame to be single until he was through highschool and possibly college.
I was sitting there thinking, 'No. That isn't a bad idea at all.'
In fact, I loved the idea. Then the next day, me and my friend, Katie, sat down and worked out a plan.
We decided since guys make better friends than anything and we both wanted to keep our grades up, we agreed that we would avoid relationships. It would make the future boyfriend possibly more special knowing that I waited and didn't give anything up. (Not even my first kiss.)
Though Katie had already had hers, she was still down with the idea. Ever since we haven't said a WORD to Jake about this plan.. Though I don't really know if he is following his own road anymore and is looking for somebody. But still, the road is named after him.
Soo... Just thought I throw that out there before my mental picture of Jake on his road chasing me with his blue truck ran me over...
HAHA!! Again, have a nice day!! :D
-Shu
Advice from a NERD
'When you find me! In the morning! Hanging on a warning, ooooohhhh! The joke is on you! You said you were preteneding, heres to unhappy endings oooh! The joke is on you!'
The Joke - By Lifehouse :D
But theres more to this song other than it is utterly AWSOME. I happen to be quite busy, talking to soo many people. Seeing as I live in such a pathedicaly small town, I understand why there isn't much drama, but where there is any, its like out the WAH ZOO!
For instance, one of my dear friends had rumors spread about him. That he was smoking pot, talking crap about people, ect. But I know he wasn't. Hes a good guy and I find it awful that people would make fun of other because their life is so pathedicly shameful, boring, and annoying to others.
Personaly, even in a BIG school, this kind of stuff can be avoided. If you're a truely good person, you wouldn't talk behind ANYONES back. Not just your best friend's, ex-boyfriend's sister, but EVERYBODY.
I got lucky. Nobody talks about the 'nerds'. Its just unusuall. apparently our lives our too boring for their liking. Or they know we can smart them back if needed and make them look more of a fool than they already put off.
Though nerds, emos, goths, pot heads, and jock are all just sterio types. Don't make fun of them because they are different. It can really hurt them. People have DIED because some D.A.happened to find some guy quite funny because he happened to be carrying his homework to class.
I've been the victim of harsh remarks at one point. It hurt a lot. I didn't want to live. I didn't want to do anything. I wanted to sit and cry. Again, I was lucky. I have many great friends that helped pull me up. I was oh so lucky. Though others arn't.
I guess all I'm trying to say with all this rambling is that, most people are just talk. The ones that really mean buisness would go ahead and hurt you. Don't let their harsh remarks push you over the edge. Especially to the point of suicide or self mutilation. Its not worth it.
You'll be glad you followed this one day. It may seem insane, but it sorta works. Just ask the 'nerds'. :)
Well... ramble, ramble, ramble... have a nice day.
-Shu
The Joke - By Lifehouse :D
But theres more to this song other than it is utterly AWSOME. I happen to be quite busy, talking to soo many people. Seeing as I live in such a pathedicaly small town, I understand why there isn't much drama, but where there is any, its like out the WAH ZOO!
For instance, one of my dear friends had rumors spread about him. That he was smoking pot, talking crap about people, ect. But I know he wasn't. Hes a good guy and I find it awful that people would make fun of other because their life is so pathedicly shameful, boring, and annoying to others.
Personaly, even in a BIG school, this kind of stuff can be avoided. If you're a truely good person, you wouldn't talk behind ANYONES back. Not just your best friend's, ex-boyfriend's sister, but EVERYBODY.
I got lucky. Nobody talks about the 'nerds'. Its just unusuall. apparently our lives our too boring for their liking. Or they know we can smart them back if needed and make them look more of a fool than they already put off.
Though nerds, emos, goths, pot heads, and jock are all just sterio types. Don't make fun of them because they are different. It can really hurt them. People have DIED because some D.A.happened to find some guy quite funny because he happened to be carrying his homework to class.
I've been the victim of harsh remarks at one point. It hurt a lot. I didn't want to live. I didn't want to do anything. I wanted to sit and cry. Again, I was lucky. I have many great friends that helped pull me up. I was oh so lucky. Though others arn't.
I guess all I'm trying to say with all this rambling is that, most people are just talk. The ones that really mean buisness would go ahead and hurt you. Don't let their harsh remarks push you over the edge. Especially to the point of suicide or self mutilation. Its not worth it.
You'll be glad you followed this one day. It may seem insane, but it sorta works. Just ask the 'nerds'. :)
Well... ramble, ramble, ramble... have a nice day.
-Shu
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Suicide or Murder?
Today I have continually thought about Nirvana and how Kurt Cobain was killed/died. After hours of reviewing sites and listening to his music, I don't think he killed himself.
First off, I want to clear the gun. He had originally bought it for protection, not for suicide. He wanted to protect his life. There also were no finger prints found on the gun. And just part of human nature, why would he leave his daughter with the awful image of blood and wounds when he could have simply passed through an overdose (If suicide was his intenion).
As for the heroin, it isn't possible, even for a regular heroin addict to take 3 times the lethal dose. He would have been incapasited almost emidiatly and wouldn't have had the time to pick up the gun to shoot himself.
Another reason why I don't think he did it because he didn't say anything in his 'suicide note' about killing himself. It was more like a note saying he was leaving the music buisness because he didn't feel the thrill and excitement he used to. The only evidence of a suicide was written in a footnote, on the bottom of the page, in a different mannor. If you were writing a suicide note, wouldn't you write it to JUST your family? Quite honestly, I wouldn't care what the fans thought if I were to kill myself or be murdered, I would just worry about how my family and the people I care about.
But this note isn't the only evidence, his wife, Courtney Love, had kept another note from Kurt. She didn't show it to anyone. It clearly stated that he was leaving his wife as well as Seattle, nothing about leaving life.
Personaly, I think his wife may have done it. Though there is a few humanoid things that make me think she didn't. But why I think she DID is because his credit card was missing. Possibly Cobains death was for money. As you I had just stated, they were planning a divorce. Maybe Love wasn't happy about it and figured she would take everything. I guess it worked.
Why I DON'T think she did it is because she claimed to have carried his ashes around with her everywhere she went so she could just live in comfort of knowing he was always with her. I find that a bit crazy, but I understand. She also supposidly wore his clothes all the time. Maybe shes just a good assasin, or I'm a terrible detective.
Either way, it is a tragic loss that I do wish never happend. Even if Cobain's only intent was to leave the music business, it would have been much better than losing his whole life.
Information found at http://www.cobaincase.com/
You've heard my opinion, see for yourself.
Thanks
-Shu
First off, I want to clear the gun. He had originally bought it for protection, not for suicide. He wanted to protect his life. There also were no finger prints found on the gun. And just part of human nature, why would he leave his daughter with the awful image of blood and wounds when he could have simply passed through an overdose (If suicide was his intenion).
As for the heroin, it isn't possible, even for a regular heroin addict to take 3 times the lethal dose. He would have been incapasited almost emidiatly and wouldn't have had the time to pick up the gun to shoot himself.
Another reason why I don't think he did it because he didn't say anything in his 'suicide note' about killing himself. It was more like a note saying he was leaving the music buisness because he didn't feel the thrill and excitement he used to. The only evidence of a suicide was written in a footnote, on the bottom of the page, in a different mannor. If you were writing a suicide note, wouldn't you write it to JUST your family? Quite honestly, I wouldn't care what the fans thought if I were to kill myself or be murdered, I would just worry about how my family and the people I care about.
But this note isn't the only evidence, his wife, Courtney Love, had kept another note from Kurt. She didn't show it to anyone. It clearly stated that he was leaving his wife as well as Seattle, nothing about leaving life.
Personaly, I think his wife may have done it. Though there is a few humanoid things that make me think she didn't. But why I think she DID is because his credit card was missing. Possibly Cobains death was for money. As you I had just stated, they were planning a divorce. Maybe Love wasn't happy about it and figured she would take everything. I guess it worked.
Why I DON'T think she did it is because she claimed to have carried his ashes around with her everywhere she went so she could just live in comfort of knowing he was always with her. I find that a bit crazy, but I understand. She also supposidly wore his clothes all the time. Maybe shes just a good assasin, or I'm a terrible detective.
Either way, it is a tragic loss that I do wish never happend. Even if Cobain's only intent was to leave the music business, it would have been much better than losing his whole life.
Information found at http://www.cobaincase.com/
You've heard my opinion, see for yourself.
Thanks
-Shu
Saturday, February 20, 2010
The 'new blogger' on Peta
Hello, I've just recently decided that I wish to start a new blogging carrier. I want people to be able to know what I truely think without me jumping up and down in their faces to get their attention. Many of my thoughts are utterly stupid and probably don't even deserve to be put out into the open. Like pulling the moon to earth with nothing more than a human's veins. Or how to turn the hole planet into a sona with just a few shovels.
But even I am capable of actually thinking along the lines of something I truely believe. For instance, today I couldn't help but think about this organization called Peta.
The other day my friend had recieved a flier for 'Seal Bashing' (The 'sport' of chaining seals and 'bashing' their heads in for their skin) in Canada. Of course, she and my other friend are big supporters of these kinds of things. I'm not a fan of 'Seal Bashing' and I do not support it, but I do not find it right that they would put down a whole country to get others to agree with them.
Who are they to put Canada to shame for something most of them probably arn't happy about themselves? Its not right. I'm glad to say seal skin is illegal in many places, but I don't believe Peta had anything to do with it.
Another flier I saw while watching the news the other day was called 'Doggies reproduce faster than Duggars!'. It was all about how people should go out and get their pets fixed.
Again, I agree, our pets do need to be fixed. There are too many animals for humans to really take care of and so many get put to sleep every day, but do they really need to 'throw the Duggars under the bus', as the news crew had put it? I think not.
All in all, I am NOT a supporter of Peta. I agree with what they are doing, but I don't think they need to hurt a family or a whole FREAKING COUNTRY to get what they want. To me, thats just selfish and shows their lack of humanity. I have a feeling they are aware that what they're doing is evil and not something people should look up to.
I'm aware that some of you readers may be puffing up like a blowfish, but you know what? I really don't care. Its what I think and what I believe. These are my reasons I believe Peta should be spelled with an I. P.I.T.A - Pain in the ASS. How I've always been raised to spell it.
This probably wasn't my best choice of a first time blog, but its whats on my mind.
Thanks for reading and have a nice day.
-Shu
But even I am capable of actually thinking along the lines of something I truely believe. For instance, today I couldn't help but think about this organization called Peta.
The other day my friend had recieved a flier for 'Seal Bashing' (The 'sport' of chaining seals and 'bashing' their heads in for their skin) in Canada. Of course, she and my other friend are big supporters of these kinds of things. I'm not a fan of 'Seal Bashing' and I do not support it, but I do not find it right that they would put down a whole country to get others to agree with them.
Who are they to put Canada to shame for something most of them probably arn't happy about themselves? Its not right. I'm glad to say seal skin is illegal in many places, but I don't believe Peta had anything to do with it.
Another flier I saw while watching the news the other day was called 'Doggies reproduce faster than Duggars!'. It was all about how people should go out and get their pets fixed.
Again, I agree, our pets do need to be fixed. There are too many animals for humans to really take care of and so many get put to sleep every day, but do they really need to 'throw the Duggars under the bus', as the news crew had put it? I think not.
All in all, I am NOT a supporter of Peta. I agree with what they are doing, but I don't think they need to hurt a family or a whole FREAKING COUNTRY to get what they want. To me, thats just selfish and shows their lack of humanity. I have a feeling they are aware that what they're doing is evil and not something people should look up to.
I'm aware that some of you readers may be puffing up like a blowfish, but you know what? I really don't care. Its what I think and what I believe. These are my reasons I believe Peta should be spelled with an I. P.I.T.A - Pain in the ASS. How I've always been raised to spell it.
This probably wasn't my best choice of a first time blog, but its whats on my mind.
Thanks for reading and have a nice day.
-Shu
My Music
