Let's meet the lions.

Today, was meet the lions.

It's basically a social event for the past, present, and future goers of the school meet to play flag football.

I had absolutely NO fun.

Like, I tried to get a friend to lie to the director and say his mother was dying and requested my assistance in getting her to the hospital or something.

I wouldn't have cared.

I was in a terrible place, from a social standpoint.

I'm not saying the people around me were evil, mean, or rude in anyway.

They just have a better life.

For the whole hour or so, I wanted to cry. I fought and fought my tears back.

When I was just reaching the point that I was just going to get up and leave, the director said he would dismiss us.

I was relived.

I couldn't wait to flee from the stands and be with my friends.

But through the whole thing, I was thinking of something I've thought about for a very long time. I mean like, for years.

"How do people really become friends?"

It's not something that clicks with me. I find it just weird to walk up to somebody and say "I want to name my kid Kitty."

If I were in that position, I would have replied "That's good to... know?"

End of conversation.

Does that make you two friends? I, personally, don't think so.

I don't understand how to start a conversation with somebody you don't know.

How do you work off of "Hey."

I mean, really? Come on. I know NOTHING about you. Why are you even talking to me?

I don't mean that in a snobby way. I mean it in a way more of, "How does this work? I'm confused."

Think about it, how did you make your friend?

Maybe it's because you constantly run into them in the hall? Or you see them every day?

But are you really friends? Or merely acquaintances?

How do you develop from acquaintance to friend?

Friends are somebody you can trust. How do you know when you can trust them?

I'm not saying I don't have any friends, I do, but I don't recall how they ever became my friend.

When I think about it, I think of three things.

1. "They had to have approached me first. I would have never had the nerve to walk up to them and be all like "Let's have a conversation."

2. "I think they are trust worthy... But how? How can you tell if you are ready to trust a person or not? Especially one that you knew nothing about a year or so ago."

3. "What is the purpose of friends? If nobody had them and just kept to themselves, imagine how fewer wars there would be? Fewer conflicts?"

It's just the way I am. And it frustrates me that I see all these people that have a huge group of friends, and I have mine. But it doesn't often reach that far. Like, my friends expand with other people. I don't feel comfortable getting out of my zone.

I know I'm rambling and I'm getting off subject, but if you could solve the problem for me or answer some questions, please leave a comment or find a way of contacting. I would love to know.

Anyway, after the game, I went and lingered around with my friends.

I mingled with Jon, David, and Rusty by the dunking booth. Watching Whitmire continuously plummet to a pool of water.

It was quite humorous.

Eventually, Jon left and I convinced David to go to the dance with me.

When we got there, we danced and I had a blast.

But there were some depressing points that have brought up the exact same thoughts as I listed before.

When a slow dance came on, I got a little upset.

How did those people meet? Why do have have this social problem? Is it the reason I can't find a boyfriend?

But I was lonely.

On top of that. My younger brother got a "girlfriend."

It frustrated me.

I guess I lack a social standpoint. Maybe I should give up. Maybe I just need help.

Of coarse, at the end of all this, I told my section leader about how upset I was. He said to take baby steps.

Truth is, I don't know where to begin.

Again, it makes NO SENSE to me...

I guess I'm finished.